Caught in the middle.

Do you ever just not know what to do?

I feel like these custody battles are this constant trying to figure out what the court would want you to do and say rather than truly being interested in the child’s best interests.  My husband received an email from his ex regarding the mental state of his youngest son.  In his response, which we took several days to create in hopes to not be too on the defensive with our answer, we were preparing it for what we felt the judge in April will want to see. 

His mental state is fragile. 

In a sense it is everyone’s fault.

It is the ex’s fault, indeed, and I could go on for hours about how drug addiction and being arrested multiple times are OFCOURSE going to affect a child.

It is our fault too though.  No we don’t beat my stepson, but we definitely feel the stress this co-parenting conflict.  We try not to let it interfere with his life, but I know it does.

I think some of my stepson’s issues are a reaction coming out after the fact, like he can finally start putting his guard down too.  We no longer see my husband’s ex at the exchange at all; we have figured a way out to make it so neither of us have to see each other.  I think this has really helped to stabilize life for my stepson, and he is feeling ok to not have to be the emotional adult finally.  I think in some ways his reactions are good, not that he is feeling that way but for a child to go through as many changes and stressful things as he has and be reacting in life as a normal healthy child is just not right.  I think he’s been holding this all in. His older brother has been acting a lot of things out, and through all of them I remind myself that this is normal for someone living the life he is.   So wouldn’t it be normal for the younger one to act it out too?  He isn’t immune to it just because he is younger. 

We offered counseling again.

I doubt she will take it; she hasn’t done anger management or co-parenting.

Through this my stepson continues to be caught in the middle.  Both sides DO love him. But he has what they both seem to want, his love, his health, his best interest; and he is getting squeezed by it.